I have come to a time in my life when I am having to make really big decisions. I have to decide what kind of people I want to be influenced by as i finish up my last year of high school, I have to figure out what kind of things I want to spend my time doing, and I am beginning the stages of trying to find what I want to be when I grow up.

At this past summer camp I felt convicted and evaluated these three specific aspects of my life. As far as relationships went, I realized I was putting all of my energy into one or two unhealthy relationships, and neglecting multiple healthy relationships that were knocking on my door. By being so closely knit with people who were bringing me down and causing me to grow up way to fast, I was putting them before God and in that I was creating my own idols.

Ending these relationships has been a very difficult experience but it was done wonderful things for me. One thing it has done is it has shown me what I need to look for in relationships in the future. Also, it taught me that I can fight against God for a very long time in order to get what I want, but having what I want will never make me content. Thirdly, it has made my faith real to me. The speaker at camp told me one night that faith will become real when you make it real; when you make a tough decision that effects your life for God's glory. It has definitely been a struggle but it is no doubt a struggle that is worth it.

Second, As far as how I want to spend my time, I can see how God is really changing my perspective from apathetic to determined. This was not an easy transition but I needed a change of heart and God did what it took to give me that. I look to next school year and I know that most of my time will be spent on school work. I want to get the best grades I can and do the best work I can because only then will God be glorified.

In my years of high school I have definitely learned that procrastinating sounds great, but when I am in the process of putting something out I am always 99% more stressed than I am when I am actually doing the work. I see that really, I have been making life more difficult for myself. I know, however, that I needed to learn this lesson the hard way, because I will never forget it.

Lastly, I evaluated what I want to be when I grow up and I made a few decisions. At summer camp the speaker showed a video about children in Asia. It was a call to missions and it really touched my heart. He also talked about how we were all given talents and skills, but using them idly or for ourselves is wasteful and we will be punished for that. I always knew I wanted to do something with music and I always had an interest in going to South Africa, but at camp I was praying and God put an idea on my heart. As I have thought and prayed more about it, it has become clear to me that at this point in my life, I know what i want to do when I grow up.

My goal is to go to college and minor in music. I want to play at shows and put my music out there until I can get a good fan base. I want to incorporate Christ into my music and share the gospel at my concerts. I know that no worldly person goes into Life Way Christian Book Store looking for music, so i want to be on a secular label in order to reach a larger range of people.

After I have enough of a fan base, I want to move to South Africa and help or start an orphanage there. I can have benefit concerts and use the money I make to help the children there who may be suffering with malnourishment, aids, or other problems. My goal in this is to not only draw attention to God, but draw attention to places in our world that people are afraid to go to.

I have prayed about these thoughts and decisions a lot and I am at a point of peace about it, but i know that God is God and His plans may be very different from mine. I will sit back and watch how we works to use me to bring glory to Himself.

I am so thankful that God looked on me with enough favor to allow me to grow closer to him this year. He allowed me to go through little trials in order to reveal Himself to me in little ways. This is something I am extremely unworthy of, but eternally grateful for. I am so thankful that at this time in my life, God is there with me in all of my decision making, and I don't have to go through it alone.

My parents

Growing up I have learned that one of the most important things a person will ever do is learning to "count his blessings." I personally have numerous blessings that sometimes go unnoticed and get taken for granted.

Two of the biggest blessings God has given me are my mom and my dad. Growing up in a Christian home can be a blessing or a curse, depending on what you do with it. Most of the time growing up in a christian home can turn children away from Christ because their parents are hypocritical and do not live what they talk. Thankfully God blessed me with parents who have not only taught me about the path of righteousness but they have been strong leaders to that very path.

They have reflected Christ to me in their own special ways, and I would like to share some of them in this entry. My dad has taught me how to forgive, how to be patient, and how to show love.

I can not remember a time in my life when I felt like my dad did not love me. Growing up, even when I was getting in trouble, he would always pray with me after and tell me that he cared. He has always been the first person to forgive me, and there has never been a time when I had to forgive him.

His patience is remarkable as he deals with not only me but other people that probably deserve his anger, but will not receive it. Ever since I was little I have called my dad my friend, and even though I don't always know how to show him, I listen to every word he says as if he were my best friend. My prayer is that we will be best friends forever.

My mom has taught me how to perservere, comfort, and do more for others that she ever does for herself. I have seen my mom go through so many trials and hardships in her life. Whether it was the loss of a loved one or hurtful situations with friends and family.

Through her actions she has shown that the correct response to these situations is not pretending like they do not hurt, but knowing that they hurt and choosing to press on regardless.

When I am in a situation where I need comfort and consolation, she is the first person I go to; because I know that she understands what it's like to be in pain, and she will be there to cry with me and hold my hand until it is over. Her nurturing spirit has helped me on numerous occasions, even when she had no idea.

She is always either doing work, writing someone a thank you note, or cleaning something. She very rarely takes a break from this without someone telling her to. I believe that if anyone deserves to take some time off for themselves, it is my mom. Through this, she has shown me the truth that there really are more important things in life than yourself. She gave up things that she loved doing like puzzels and painting so that she could be a stay at home mom and raised us the way God called us to be raised.

Both of my parents have let pieces of their lives go so that they could be a bigger part of my sibling's and my life. I am forever grateful that God has given me, I believe, the greatest blessing of all.

Summer Camp '10

This past week my youth group went to a summer camp in South Carolina. The camp itself was very big with a lot of different activities that we could choose from. They had a big lake, hummer rides, horse back rides, trails to hike on, and a giant zip line. All of these activities were spread out over hills and valleys, so no matter what we wanted to do, we had to do quite a bit of walking to get to it.

The first day we were there, some of the senior girls and I went into the lake. The water was so muddy that it turned our hair brown and died our bathingsuits...needless to say, the lake was not as appealing in the days to follow.

Another thing that was not very appealing was the infestation of bed bugs. Every morning I woke up with new itchy bug bites covering my body. Even now that I am home from camp I am finding them in new places. Now I will take people a lot more seriously when they tell me not to let the bed bugs bite!

After the first night of sleeping with the bugs, we woke up and chose how we would spend our day. most of the camp did some of the activities that the camp offered, especially the hummer rides. My friends and I decided that we wanted to preform a lip syn on the last night, so we spent most of our free time practicing for that. A lip sync is basically when you get up on stage and a song by a different person starts playing, and you pretend to be playing or singing it. We had a very short time to reherse ours, and we wanted it to be good. It is our last highschool summer camp, after all, we had to leave our mark! We chose a fun and up beat song and basically made ourselves look like idiots dancing to it. We all had so much fun and were so glad we decided to do it.

The rest of the days it thunderstormed so no one really went outside. When it was not raining it got up to 102 degrees outside, so not a lot of people did the outdoor activities. Even in the short time when I was outside, the sun left it's mark on me. My camp souveniers this year were sun burn and bug bites, but I still managed to enjoy the week very much and i cannot wait for winter camp!